The No-Shave November Logs, Day 24: Remember Your Roots

Well, with Thanksgiving over, Christmas music is now flooding my house. At least it's starting like it should, with Bing Crosby, the last Christmas crooner you'll ever need.

I've listened to a lot of Christmas music in my years - I once worked in a toy store over the Thanksgiving/Christmas season, and I was treated to hour after hour of the stuff - and my opinion is that there really doesn't need to be any new Christmas music, ever. All these modern bands who come out with Christmas songs are just wasting my time. Between Elvis, Johnny Cash, and Bing Crosby, I'm good.

Actually, I'm more than good. I'm completely Christmas-musiced out. When I hear a new Christmas song, I just get pissed off. You're not fooling anyone, you crass holiday whores!

So, yeah, any Christmas music that was made after I was born is, at best, superfluous. At worst, it's pop musicians shamelessly dropping a deuce on the most wonderful time of the year. Screw that, and screw them!

Merry Christmas!

DAILY NO-SHAVE NOVEMBER PIC:

I call this look, Moronic, The Hedgehog.


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The No-Shave November Logs, Day 23: Say You're Sorry

I'd just like to take this chance to apologize to everyone. What can I say? I'm weak! I knew it was wrong, but I just couldn't help myself. I'm not proud of what I did, but if you give me another chance, I'll try not to do it again. Please don't give up on me!

I didn't mean to buy anything on Black Friday, but I just couldn't stop myself. I wanted to get a gift for my son, and it was $30 off! You can hardly hold that against me! I didn't go at 8pm Thanksgiving day! I waited until 2am this morning (despite what you may think, that's actually a reasonable hour for me) just to show that I wasn't going to be taken in by the hoopla.

Of course, when I got to Wal-Mart they had racks of low-priced Blu-Rays and DVDs lined up every aisle leading to the section where they kept the gift I was looking for. I couldn't help browsing on my way back! But I didn't get anything! Sure, I put a $4 copy of Hellboy 2: The Golden Army in my basket, but I put it back on the shelf when I realized they were out of the thing I'd come for in the first place!

It was Best Buy that got me. I mean, I had to go there! They were the only other place I could think of where that particular item was on sale! And I held out until I was stuck in that interminable line they have wrapping the entire store. I had come and found what I was looking for, and was ready to leave when I saw that they had the Will Ferrell/Zach Galifanakis political laugh-fest The Campaign for only $12! Twelve lousy bucks!!! How could I resist such hilarity at such a low price? Are you telling me you could?!?

All right! I admit it! I'm a bad person! I succumbed to avarice when I should have been focusing on gratefulness, and I'm sorry! I promise I'll try to do better next year!

This is a Black Friday indeed.

DAILY NO-SHAVE NOVEMBER PIC:

I call this look, Lone Survivor.


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The No-Shave November Logs, Day 22: Stand Up Straight And Speak Clearly

Thanksgiving is a day that's all about traditions. The great thing about having a relatively new holiday (in the historical sense) that's all about traditions is that you can start a new tradition whenever you want, and it's just as valid and important as all the rest that have gone before.

Today I attempted to start a new family tradition. Over the last few nights, I wrote a Thanksgiving-themed story to be read after Thanksgiving dinner. As family is one of the things that makes Thanksgiving so important, I decided to base all of the characters on my family, and make the setting the house I would be reading the story in.

Overall, I think "Turkey Day" went over pretty well. What might have been a pulpy horror story in other circumstances became a campy comedy, as everyone in the room could put not only a face, but a personality to each of the characters and events as I read them. I think we had a pretty good time, and I hope to do it again next year, ideally with a new story for the new year.

I'm currently toying with writing one for Christmas, but I'm not sure if I can pull a new story out of my brain that quickly. But who knows? I only thought up "Turkey Day" on Tuesday night, and that worked out great!

DAILY NO-SHAVE NOVEMBER PIC:

I call this look, Grateful Dawg.


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The No-Shave November Logs, Day 21: Put Some Though Into It

Last night I started work on a Thanksgiving story, to be read either during or after Thanksgiving dinner. I just hope I can finish it in time. I mean, I know I won't have a polished final draft, but if I can just have something that will keep everybody entertained for 10 or 20 minutes, I'll be happy. It's going to be a near thing, but if I work hard on it again tonight and put in some time on Thursday morning, I think I can do it. If not, just don't tell my family about it, okay? What they don't know won't hurt them.

Since you asked, it's called "Turkey Day," which doesn't give away much, I know. I'm not going to tell you what it's about until after Thanksgiving because - and don't take this personally - I'm afraid I just don't know that I can trust you not to either tell my family or be my family.

Okay, enough about family and writing and Thanksgiving. On to the really important stuff!

So, I'm replaying my way through Grand Theft Auto IV...

Just kidding. That was just a test to see whether or not you're secretly a member of my family. I know that Grand Theft Auto IV isn't nearly as important as family, or even writing or Thanksgiving. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City on the other hand...


DAILY NO-SHAVE NOVEMBER PIC:

I call this look, Wooly Manmouth.


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